Homer Simpson Quotes

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get."

"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."